As promised, this post will talk about the role that skin tone plays amongst males and their point of view on the issue in relation to women.
Before I get into the black community, I want everyone reading this to think about the relationship between black men and white women that so many black women have problems with; claiming that white women steal their good black men, and that black man are trying to run away from who they are. Now, just think about how much hate certain women have for black men who are with white women and imagine that applied within the black community.
Now I have several black male friends, but surprisingly enough they all have the same mentality. “She can’t be darker than me.” So, when they look at girls they do not take the same approach as women in that they don’t automatically go for one specific skin tone, but find their own first and see if they like. Then they look at a lighter shade, or vice versa. But most of them when they meet girls that are darker than them they immediately put them as friends or just try not to talk to them so that those girls will not get the idea that those men are interested in.
In the black community when dealing with relationships about dating, there are two types of significant others: you can be a hit and go/booty-call (which most of Western society utilizes) or you are wifey material. If you’re wifey material that means that someone wants to be committed to you and that you are just that beautiful of a person that they are willing to change their ways of hit and go. So, wifey material is basically the epitome of respect, especially for a woman (the word is applied to anyone’s significant other).
A lot of black men tend to go to the light skinned women when they are looking for wifey material, and the dark skinned girls for the booty-call. That’s one of the things that really weakens the dark skinned girl’s self-esteem. But it also shows that black men are attracted to dark skinned girls, but care too much about appearance to be with them.
Those friends of mine that choose to date girls their skin tone and lighter, it usually stems from how they look with the girl. But another factor is the skin tone of their mother. Yes their mothers. Black males tend to have mothers who are lighter than them (most likely because their fathers did the same thing they did by marrying a light skinned woman) and from growing up with that they like to date girls who are around their mother’s skins tones and that just continues the cycle.


3 thoughts on “

  1. I like this post a lot. I am currently in a interracial relationship and we get stares when we walk around everywhere (which is all the time). Im dating an Indian girl who happens to be extremely beautiful and i love her to death, but many indian elders do not approve when they see us holding hands. We cannot walk past one family without the descent of my girlfriend dating a white guy. I for one never race as an issue, but it still obviously plays a role today which is very interesting

  2. I had no idea any if this ever happened in Western culture. I had no idea that in the black community they discriminated against skin color. It seems kind of ironic seeing as their not so distant ancestors fought so they wouldn’t have to be judged based on their skin color. But i guess I can see where they are coming from. Personally, I don’t really care what someone looks like, I mostly care about personality. I do, however, have friends that won’t go out with a guy because he is too pale. So I guess it really does happen everywhere.

  3. I’ve never really thought about this issue from a black male perspective. I’ve seen the Tyra episode and know that black women like to be lighter skinned but I didn’t realize guys play a part in this. Why is it that more white girls date black men than black women date white men? My older sister is dating a black guy (I’m white, we’re white). She’s told me in the past that he has had his fun, he’s done the whole booty-call thing before, but now he is ready to be serious. Interesting coincidence…. One other thing I find interesting is that all white girls like to be tan. White girls strive to be darker and black girls strive to be lighter. weird. Do white boys look for girls that are darker or lighter than themselves? Does it matter? What about men in different cultures? I know in India the color of the woman’s eyes is important, but what about skin?

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